Back and forth to Vancouver

Looks like most of my exploration these last months of work includes flying back and forth to Vancouver.  I am headed back to the coast this evening.  I fly on Pacific Coastal Airlines, in a Beechcraft 1900.  I have my favourite seat which puts me in a position where I can see the altimeter (so I know we really are above the rocks!).  Also, when I look out the window I can see that the front gear is down as it is reflected in the spinner of the propellor.  Control issues?  Who me???

I like the smaller aircraft because I can see what is happening.  I would rather know than not know.  However, I have had a few instances of anxiety as a result of seeing the cockpit.  When the captain takes out the big binder, the operating manual and various papers and spends a long time looking at them, obviously discussing with the second officer, it makes me a little nervous.  Or when an annunciator light comes one.  Or when the captain keeps looking out the window toward the engine.

I have had the aircraft I came in on "grounded" due to a mechanical issue, but have never had a real in-flight concern.  Not yet anyway. 

I don't like flying at night very much; I like to be able to see the ground or if I can't, at least how thick the clouds are.  And the worst bumping around the sky I have experienced has been on night flights.  And wouldn't you know it, I am flying out tonight and back Friday night.  Twice in a week.  Oh well, a chance to practice my relaxation breathing!

Where, oh where to go?

Len and I have been tossing around some ideas of trips to take during this first year of my availability.  Having a small airplane is fun, but we are so weather-reliant that it is hard to make firm plans.  That is one thing about a full-time job - you need to schedule time off.  So once I am "foot-loose-and-fancy-free" we will be more able to hop in the plane and go visiting when the weather cooperates.

So far we have settled on the fact that an across-Canada trip will wait until 2020.  We hope to hit the Oshkosh Air Show on one leg of the trip.  We were there in 2002 and Len has been back once since.  I would like to go again - there is something so special about camping with 10,000 of your flying friends!

For 2019 we will be a little more modest - go visiting the family in Sechelt, Canal Flats and St. Albert.  Maybe we will get as far as Winnipeg where we have good friends.  If not this year, then as part of our Cross-Canada trip next year.

Other than flying, I hope to participate in some musical camps.  Len and I will both go to Mountain Fever Bluegrass Jam Camp at the Flying U Ranch at the end of April.  I want to go back to the Mountainside Chamber Music week in Nelson in July.  And maybe Nimblefingers camp at the end of August....we'll have to see how the money holds out.

There are two elements to our travel - friends and family.  That's really what it is all about.  Visiting old friends, making new ones.  And always throwing in some music.  Len on the banjo, me on either mandolin or stand-up bass.  Too much fun!

So enjoyable to think about the upcoming summer in the midst of January!  Last year at this time we were planning our trip to Iceland and Norway.  Seems that when the snow flies, our imaginations get busy!

Second First Thoughts

I was in Vancouver working for days 2, 3 and 4 of this new year.  It rained a lot, as is expected at this time of year, so it wasn't very pleasant for walking or being outside.   So I had lots of time to think about this transition and what it means.

For one thing, being at work with the people I am "deserting", having them moan about how I will be missed and in many other various ways making me feel guilty, was not easy.  I am trying to balance being firm....yes, I really am retiring....and understanding.....yes, I realize there is no one to replace me just yet.  I felt like a yo-yo going between these two realities.  It was exhausting. 

Most of the staff are very understanding, supportive and wish me well.  They are eager to help me get the program operations in top-notch form before the transition.  But we also have to do our daily work and keep moving ahead.  This too, is a balance.  I really want to leave the team in the best shape possible, to document all our processes, to have upper management clear about how I do things and how I think they should continue to be done.  All this, I fear, is partly my process to compensate for the guilt, the feeling that I really am deserting my staff, and a reflection of the level of ownership I have for the program.  I have spent the last 7 years of my life committed to bringing this team into being and supporting them to become really effective and responsive to the people they support.  I have given up vacation time, personal time and poured the best of me into getting this done.  And with the help of many people, I got it done!  I think that is why I have such a feeling of ownership and such a fear of having it destroyed.

Three days in Vancouver...then home for a few days before I head back again.  Instead of rain, there was a beautiful clear sky full of stars to greet me on my drive home from the airport.  When I walked in the door I could hear the crackle of the logs on the fire.  I sighed and relaxed.  I was home.  This is what life is really all about.  I just need to remember that.

Coddiwompling Begins!

Welcome to 2019!

This is the year I turn 65; the year I am retiring from a rewarding work life.  What will the future bring?  I'm not sure, but I stumbled upon a great concept, that of coddiwompling.  Moving with purpose toward an unknown destination.  

Moving? - yes!  Purpose?  - yes! Unknown destination? you bet!

Along the way, I want to record my thoughts and doings, decisions made and turns taken. Not so much for others, although perhaps it will prove interesting, but so that I am more intentional about my life.

My Mom turned 91 this past December and started to write her life story.  I realized that I have mainly drifted through life, and if I had to write my story now, I don't think I would remember much about why I did the things I did, what was in my head or what influenced my choices.

So this blog is my attempt to be aware.  To savour and share the moments that mean the most to me.  If it seems self-indulgent, forgive me.  Oh, and I write in a "stream of consciousness" sort of way so if incomplete sentences make you crazy, you might not want to continue reading.

                                 You gotta get paddling if you want to get anywhere!  

Day one: January 1, 2019.  As the snow falls on an already-white landscape, I am heading to Vancouver where it is raining and where it will rain all week in fact.  Why am I leaving my home in the Cariboo on a STAT holiday?  Because I am going to be working in Vancouver for the next three days and want to be there for the minute the office opens tomorrow morning.  I could have flown in tomorrow and missed half the day getting there, but I wanted to make the most of my time.  So I am giving my employer a piece of my personal time.  This is my choice.  Not required of me, except by myself.  This is an example of my work ethic, and an example of the ownership I have over the program I manage and will soon be giving over to the care and feeding of someone else.  My retirement date is March 31st.  Right up until then I want to give my best effort so that I can leave knowing that I have done everything I can to ensure my "legacy" continues.  Three short months and no one has been hired to replace me yet.  So I travel to Vancouver on New Year's Day.

                                       The deck will be waiting when I get home.